All for you
by bowarrow40
Summary: "You always had me doing things I thought I would regret." A final choice that Cat knows that she wont regret because she will do anything to be with Sam.


**Authors note: ****okay so this is a very sad puckentine romance, I literally cried while writing it. Okay so nuff said, here is my one-shot "All for you" **

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Sam and Cat or any of its characters.**

_**-bowarow40**_

_All for you._

I miss her, I really do. Of course I blame myself for her absence, if I hadn't of told her to go get that stupid ice cream she would still be here. She would be sitting across from me right now, telling me to cry, to cry my eyes out. So that's what I'm doing, the pain is still there, it will always be there. This feeling of emptiness, I mean I've had this feeling before, like when my parents left, but not to this extreme.

All I really want to do right now is crawl up inside of myself and stay there, I guess that's what I'm already doing though. Tori was the first to notice my change in mood, after one week I went back to school, I was down the whole day but I have been down ever since _that _night.

_*flashback to three weeks ago*_

"Come on Sam! Please?" I say giving my best pouty face I can muster. Batting my eyelashes she gives in.

"Uhg, Fine! But only for you." She says turning around and grabbing her leather jacket off the coat rack. "I'll be back in a little bit with your special ice cream."

"Yay!" I scream and clap my hands together. Sam laughs and walks out the door.

*_end of flashback*_

Right now I'm sitting at my lunch table with everyone else just staring at the salad in front of me. "Alright Red, what's up?" Andrea asks.

"Nothing." I reply, giving no emotion.

"It's okay Cat, you can tell us." Tori says, laying a hand on my back. They had no idea, they didn't know about the girl who died in a motorcycle accident just a few weeks ago. They didn't care, nobody did. Remembering this I break down, tears running down my face and my body shaking with the sobs that escape my mouth.

"S-Sa-Sam!" I cry out.

"Who?" Tori asks, starting to rub my back.

"Wait, your roommate Sam?" Jade says. I shake my head, "What happened? Did she move out or something?"

"N-no! S-she d-di-died!" I exclaim, covering my face with my hands. I was afraid to admit this because I didn't want it to be true, but now that I have the realization hits me like a ton of bricks.

_*Flashback*_

It hurt, it hurt so bad to see Sam lying there with tubes and wires coming out of her body. I was sitting next to her when it happened, I was holding her hand when she passed. The beeping, the confusion, the doctors rushing in and pulling me away. It hurt, it hurt more than any other pain I have ever felt to see them pull the sheet over her blonde locks. I thought she was going to make it, even the doctors said she was going to be okay. But they lied, she wasn't okay.

_*End of flashback*_

It was Saturday night, I didn't have any plans. I usually didn't because on Saturday nights me and Sam would watch horror movies all night long. Those days were gone though, I suppose I could watch them by myself but it won't be the same. Nothings will ever be the same, everywhere I go she's there. If I'm at the mall her favorite clothing store is there to haunt me. If I'm watching TV her favorite show is on. Everywhere, everything reminds me of her.

I get up and get ready for bed, I still haven't done anything to her side of the room, I probably won't. I come out of the bathroom and there _she _is, sitting on her bed staring at me. I know I'm seeing things but I don't want to blink her away, she looks perfect. No more wires, no more blood, no more scars, just a light golden glow around her head.

"S-Sam?" I ask dumbfounded. She laughs a joyful laugh and gets up from her spot on her bed and walks over to me.

"Yeah Cat, it's me." She says, I can't help myself, I wrap my arms around her and hug her tight. She's stronger, well I wouldn't say stronger but… sturdier, like she could hold the whole world on her shoulders. She puts her arms around me as well, she's warm, like she's radiating happiness. I didn't know I was crying until Sam pulled me back and told me to stop.

"Don't blame yourself for this Cat. You didn't do anything to cause this." She says wiping away my tears with her thumbs. I was so close to her, her skin looked almost translucent.

"I can't help but blame myself, if I hadn't of told you to go get that stupid ice cream."

"No Cat, what happened to me was fate. It was going to happen anyway, you can't outrun fate." She says, I look down and I nod my head even though the guilt still runs through my veins. "I have to go now Cat." My eyes snapping back up to her face I can see her starting to fade away. "Just know that I love you." And with that I'm alone again.

_*Flashback*_

It killed me to see her body lying in that casket, to see her skin so pale. Very few people where there, the preacher spoke very kindly about her, even though he didn't know her. About half way through I couldn't take it anymore, I ran out of the church bawling. I couldn't even pull myself together enough to go to the burial. I suppose it was for the better though, because I know I would have been taken to an insane asylum if I had to see her body being lowered into the dirt.

_*End of flashback* _

It's been exactly one week since Sam visited me, it been exactly four since her death. I still blamed myself, just not as much. It is Saturday again, I'm laying on the couch watching re-runs of 'that's a drag'. The pain started again, in my heart and spreading outward. Usually I would go to sleep and by the time I would wake up the pain would be gone, I discovered this technique a couple of days ago, but sadly the pain always comes back.

I can't take it anymore, my cure for the pain is sleeping, maybe if I go to sleep for forever then maybe the pain will stop forever. Deciding this I get up off the couch and walk into my bathroom. Opening the cabinet I reach into the very back and pull out the small packet of white powder. I knew what it was, I knew what happened if you took too much, and that's exactly what I want to happen.

For the first time in over a month I changed out of my sweatpants and hoodie, I put on a dress of mine which was Sam's favorite. I could already start to feel my body shutting down, I only had a couple of minutes left. "Dear Lord, please don't be mad at me for doing this, please just let me end up with Sam." With that I lay down on my bed, flatten out my dress and fold my hands over my stomach. I glance around my room, looking at all of the stuffed animals and the letters to each one of my friends, a special one to Nona. Feeling content with my work I close my eyes for the last time.

_Sam knew I loved her, but what she didn't know was that I was in love with her._

**Authors note: ****okay so that was my one-shot I hope you guys enjoyed it, please review!**

_**-bowarrow40**_


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